How To Grow Forward
I have been saying this for years: Success is subjective.
I strongly believe each individual defines success differently. I even go so far as to ask in my coaching client intake forms the following: How will you define our time together as successful? At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what I think success is. It’s about what my client thinks.
Recently, I realized the same goes for failure. What I may deem as a failure, you may see as a huge accomplishment OR an absolute bust. It’s also subjective.
The recent realization came as I’ve been preparing for my debut public speaking seminar, Simply the Success. I had expectations for the amount of people who would want to attend the event. My expectations have not been met. Ticket sales have been lackluster, so I thought, until a good friend of mine gave me a healthy dose of her reality.
Her response when I told her I was feeling sorry for myself and the amount of tickets sold: “What? Are you kidding me? That’s fantastic!”
My friend’s response set into motion the idea that what I see as failing is another’s victory. It also readjusted my attitude and helped me piece together the three must-haves I needed to implement moving forward so I would continue to grow.
Three must-haves to grow forward:
- Give yourself grace. Once my friend kicked my brooding booty, she also asked me if I believed if any of the great people who have gone down the public seminar route before had hundreds to thousands of people at their first event. Point taken. With a fresh and much healthier perspective on my expectations, I knew I needed to extend myself some grace. It’s time to give yourself some grace when you’re able to answer these questions with a YES!:
___ Have you tried your best up to this point?
___ Are you comparing yourself to past accomplishments and not someone else’s?
___ Have you learned something new in the process?
If you can say YES to all three, it’s definitely time for a little grace.
- Remember your purpose. The next step in my failure attitude overhaul was to remember the WHY behind the event. What was I doing this for? What was I hoping to accomplish? I never set out to make money from this event. I’m rarely financially motivated. The amount of tickets sold had nothing to do with the money but more about the impact I was hoping to make. Yet, when I dug deeper and got help from another friend, she helped me realize if I help just one person, no matter the size of the audience, is my purpose fulfilled? Yes. When I began to refocus on my WHY, everything else, including ticket sales, began to take a back seat. It’s amazing the benefit that taking a moment to readjust your focus on your WHY can have. If you’re currently “failing,” it’s time to refocus your purpose.
- Always be first class. My mentor, Jeffrey Gitomer, use to talk about being first class in his own public seminars. He would encourage attendees to be first class in all they do, especially in sales and service. His words have been dancing across my mind as I finalize all the event details. Regardless of the amount of people in the room, it’s my job to always be first class, and I will. There’s no reason to treat 30 people any differently than 300 people or 3 people. Major wake-up right there! I could have easily decided to show up with an attitude of “good enough” because my expectations weren’t being met. Instead, I plan to WOW every single person who walks through the event doors because they deserve my absolute best, no matter what. It’s always time to be first class.
Friday is going to be amazing! I’m so excited to have the opportunity to share my vision with every single person who has invested their time, money, and faith in me. I realize now there are no true failures – only opportunities to grow forward.
Thank you for the beautiful words. Kind of an interesting thought on perception, you need to see success as your customer sees it. If we see success as they see it then we can target their success.
For me Success has always been defined as the accomplishment of a worthy goal…..not any goal, but my goal. My experience is that the goals (Targets) get bigger as time goes on and soon you’re looking back and seeing some significant accomplishments…..but you’re correct that it’s subjective in the sense that it is always my target and my definition of success.
One Man’s Opinion