Pamtastic Life Lessons

“Sissy Belle.” That’s how my mother, Pam, addresses me. It is much preferred over the name she used when I was an infant, “Chunky Tuna.” I understand now how very appropriate the name was, as I definitely hit the higher percentiles in weight through my first eighteen months of life. Seriously – even from birth I’ve never experienced a thigh-gap! 

That loving nickname has stuck with me for over thirty years. Sissy Belle, NOT Chunky Tuna! But it’s not the only thing that has stuck with me from my mother.

Today is my mom’s birthday (woot woot!) and as blessed and thankful as I am for her birth and birthing me, I’m more appreciative of the imperative life lessons she has taught me.

Five life lessons my mom taught me in the last 30+ years:

1. Work. It’s ok to be a working mother and more importantly, its ok to want and desire to be a working mom. My mom has worked her entire career except for the first nine months of my life. She has been the epitome of the working mom. In my childhood, her days ran something like: 8-5 in the office, to shuttling my brother around to baseball and wrestling practices and weekends full of games/meets, to helping me with homework, to doing all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, emptying the kitty litter, feeding the dogs, (Sorry Pops! You ain’t got nothing on Mom in this department) and tucking us in with a kiss each night. I never wanted for more attention or time from my mom, because she gave us her all each and every day. She multi-tasked with a smile and showed me that life is about working hard, professionally and personally.

2. Be Selfless. If you go back and read the list above, you’ll realize everything I listed was work she was doing for someone else. My mother taught me that to be fulfilled in life, you have to be selfless. If you give all you have, you’ll be repaid in full happiness, plus the profits of joy and love.

3. Fight. Not a lesson you would expect from a mom, but my mother took the time to teach me that you have to fight for what you want in life and love. Professionally, I’ve watched my mom fight against stereotypes. With only a high-school degree she has broken her own glass-ceilings and climbed to the top of a company where only the boys play. She’s got balls. Thankfully, she’s taught me to fight on the boy’s playground too. Personally, the greatest lesson she taught me is that you know you will have found “the one” when you are willing to fight with them and fight for them. She has been instrumental in teaching me perseverance and forgiveness in relationships and in helping me understand reality love (not the fairytale dream king) will not be easy but it will be worth the fight. Her and my dad will celebrate forty years of marriage in a little over nine months so I think I’ll keep listening to her relationship advice.

4. It’s never too late. To do whatever you want to do. If you find something that makes you happy and gives you joy and peace, do it. For my mom, that’s baking the most fantastic, correction, Pamtastic cheesecakes. She decided to go for it and now has over thirty unique flavors selling. She taught me when you love to do something, a pamtastic passion per se, you have to follow through, or you will never know. Why live a life of “what if’s?”

5. Have Faith. My mother has repeatedly told me to have faith: strong, heart full of conviction, faith to carry you through every triumph and tragedy. I watched my mom go through the long process of losing her mother to Alzheimer’s. For seven years, she traveled three hours, every Saturday, to visit her parents. She showed up without hesitation or question, long after the recognition had vanished from her mom’s eyes. Her faithful trips put her by her dad’s side as he experienced a stroke during one of her visits. As painful and confusing as the last years of her mom’s life was, I watched her demonstrate unwavering faith. She led by example and transferred that same faith to me, and for that, above all else, I am forever grateful.

I am not able to spend today with my mom but I will call and thank her for all she has taught me and continues to do so each and every day and I will watch this snapchat video and relish in the relationship we have.

Happy Birthday Mom – I will see you in just a few short weeks!

Love you the most,

Sissy Belle

Want to see a picture of my mom and “Chunky Tuna?” It’s posted here, on my Stephanie Melish – Sales Barista Facebook page.

*Updated from a previous published piece, Isn’t She Pamtastic from May 14, 2012*

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