Vulnerability is the New Black

by | Oct 25, 2016 | 0 comments

September 22, 2009.

I posted my very first article/blog/whatever you want to call it on Brewing Insights on September 22, 2009. How could it be seven years already?

While the name that houses all of my writing hasn’t changed (I still love Brewing Insights!), I certainly have.

It’s quite a process to think about how much I’ve been through over the past seven years. The list of trials, tribulations and triumphs, which have shaped my soul into the very person typing right now, is long. Especially when I take the time to truly reflect and remember. I challenge you to think about the past seven years and what all you’ve been through – it may awaken you. 

Of course, most of you wouldn’t know about the trials or tribulations because socially we “put our best foot forward” and “keep it light”. The social media highlight reel doesn’t shine a light on what’s behind curtain one and two, it only reveals behind the bonus curtain showcasing the shiny positive prize.

I’ve had enough of playing this perfectionist game. Have you?

I’m well aware of how hard it is to give it up. I know all about the anxiety that builds when you think about sharing (gasp!) the not so pretty parts of your life allowing for the world to really see you. I also know there is a certain amount of internal shaming that occurs because society shoves perfection down your throat. I get how you feel inadequate because you don’t seem to have it all figured out like thousand plus Facebook “friends” appear to. I know all about it, because I live it too.

Reality check – we are all imperfectly perfect.

Reality check – no one, on Earth, has it all figured out.

Reality check – there is no shame in sharing your whole self.

Reality check – vulnerability is not a weakness.

Vulnerability; it’s a word that has been placed into my life multiple times lately. Given it is not a commonly used word, at least not in normal coffee-talk conversation; I’ve taken note of it. What I’ve realized is that vulnerability is beautiful. The ability to be open and honest with all aspects of your authentic self is magnetic. But above everything else, I’ve realized your character is built more through being vulnerable in order to help someone else, than in any other way.

Vulnerability is the new black.

It’s a trend I would love to see go viral. You can help.

How to be more vulnerable:

  1. Accept yourself wholly. In order to be vulnerable with others, you have to first accept yourself as you are. Which means becoming self-aware and learning who you are spiritually, mentally and physically.
  2. Share your hard-learned lessons. They are called lessons for a reason. If you’ve been through something, which has been hard, yet taught you invaluable insights, don’t shy away from it – share it! There are people waiting to be affected positively by you deciding to speak instead of remaining silent.
  3. Embrace your sad moments. I believe we go through moments and seasons in our lives that we may never really understand. That is ok. It’s about embracing those moments. The real tragedy is when we go though something sad and refuse to acknowledge it, leading to suffering alone. No one should go through sadness alone, being vulnerable is being willing to let someone hug it out with you when the world isn’t as it should be.
  4. Resist the urge to always be put-together. I recorded one of my short video drills about letting your crazy flag fly and that is exactly what I mean here. In order to be vulnerable you have to resist the urge to be perfect. Life is messy. Just go with it.

I’m working on my own vulnerability daily now. I am aware of the power in sharing my failures. It’s one of the reasons why I wrote Bank Your Mistakes, which is basically a memoir of what I learned during my worst career year ever. I hope you’ll share your failures too. There is someone waiting to hear your story of imperfection. Through sharing it, you will teach them the lessons you learned the hard way while providing hope, showing them they too are human, and reminding them they are not alone.